If you follow the sport of cycling, we wonder if you're feeling as morbid about the Tour de France as some overseas seem to be. In France, especially, newspaper headlines declare "Le mort du Tour." It may be overzealous to start digging a six-foot hole for France's century-old cycling spectacle, but a plague of modern-day doping scandals has certainly dealt it a few critical blows.

Upon detailed inspection of the Buzz electrocardiograph, we note significant dips in the patient's circulation. Since 2005, the buzz on "tour de france" has visibly weakened:

 

 

A low pulse in the search box isn't an absolute sign of death for the Tour de France. Though searches are down, "tour de france" still ranks in our top 200 daily queries. For a healthy recovery, we prescribe a strict anti-doping regime and lots of exercise. Perhaps a diet consisting of a French champion might be enough to revive the patient on its home turf. Bon chance, Sandy Casar.